Is that all you got...you DOGS!?

The night before we left for our Jervis Bay trip we were in our bedroom packing and doing last minute preparations when we heard a scuffle outside of our window. For those of you that know the voyer that I am, I quickly turned off the light, opened the window and craned my neck out to see and hear what was going down. Being that we don't have screens in the windows here we could really get a good look.

The scene:
On the sidewalk of the restaurant across the street

The players:
Hairy back drunk guy with an umbrella who keeps taking his shirt off (HBDG)
Relatively sober guy with a SAAB (SGWS)
Sober guy's worthless friend
Random shouldn't be involved Asian chick
Little boy cops
Woman in power suit

The story:
Hairy back drunk guy (HBDG) is continually throwing down his broken umbrella screaming at the sober guy with SAAB (SGWS) "I'm going to fuck up your SAAB, you DOG!" SGWS picks up HBDG by the throat, slams him down on the hood of the SAAB and is seemingly ready to deliver the death blow. HBDG is continually screaming, "Is that all you got...you DOG?!" Inexplicable, SGWS does nothing and releases the HBDG. HBDG now kicks the windows of the restaurant, the door of the SAAB and is screaming, "I'm an animal...is that all you got?!" It's at this point that random Asian chick walking by with her boyfriend decides to get involved to calm down the situation. You wouldn't see that in the States! She does seem to calm HBDG down a bit and they hug. Do they know each other? Then HBDG kisses her on the lips and she freaks out yelling at him and running off. They don't know each other that well I guess! This is the last that we see of random Asian chick that shouldn't have been involved in the first place.

About 20 minutes of scuffling continues with the shirt being put back on and then off again, and no real action. Finally, a cop car pulls up in no apparent rush and two guys in cargo shorts and t-shirts jump out. The questions here are, "were these cops off-duty at the bar partying with their buddies when they got the call?" or "Is there really no police uniform?" They look like teenagers but one has a billy club (which he probably has no idea how to use) and they have handcuffs so they must be for real. They get HBDG on the ground and it takes awhile to get him cuffed. All the while HBDG screams, "Is that all you got...you DOGS?!"

Next, an unmarked car pulls up and a middle aged woman in a serious power suit jumps out (I question if she is the Queen herself) and looks like she is going to handle the situation. She proceeds to hold down one of HBDG ankles until the paddy-wagon shows up. It's phrases like that, paddy-wagon, that just don't make sense here. It takes two more cops (in shorts and t-shirts) to get him in the wagon. It actually looked more like a car pulling a small u-haul.

Now, I'm sorry if you have invested time in reading this which should end with some crazy climax but alas, we are in Australia and that just doesn't happen here. No threat of anyone pulling a gun and 14 yr old cops that don't know how to use a billy club=boring ending to a great start.